Hello there folks, I had myself a busy weekend. Well, Friday I did fuck-all besides do my dick and fart jokes for elementary school students, but Saturday and Sunday were pretty damned action packed.
Saturday morning, I heard of a book signing by my child-hood hero Bret “The HitMan” Hart at the Costco in Bayers Lake, so I got my shit together and I trekked out to encounter The Hitman. My first stop in Bayers Lake was Chapters to pick up his book. I arrived at Costco shortly before noon (the scheduled start time for the book signing).
There was a huge line up, and I was informed that there were people who arrived at 8:00am, but I was alright for standing around for a few hours to meet my hero. They (Costco) were issuing tickets to the patrons to regulate the line. After 45 minutes in the lineup to get a ticket to grant me access to the real line, I was at the front of the line…
It was at this pivotal time in my life when the Costco-monkey informed me that she had just given away the very last ticket. The very last fucking ticket! I proceeded to ask if I could just go in and look at the man. She asked for my Costco membership card. I told her I didn’t have one. She told me I couldn’t see my childhood hero. I screamed “Fuck” in front of at least 30 children. I left Costco.
I then walked to Chapters and got a refund for Bret Hart’s book.
It’s nothing against The Hitman himself. I still absolutely love him, but I can’t stand to look or listen to him. Not after that. I was so close to meeting my childhood hero, and the only thing keeping us apart was a Costco membership.
Thus, I shopped for a new book, and a new childhood hero, and I picked up “The Greedy Bastard Diary” written by my new childhood hero, Eric Idle.